Hey guys, welcome to episode 3 of Toomers to Lake Martin.

All right, I have a story. I have a story for you guys.

So this was Saturday, and I did not record because I was in the car with my mom, and she doesn’t like me on the phone recording while I’m driving with her because she wants to talk to me, right?

Okay, so I was going up from Auburn, Alabama to StillWaters, and I was showing her our new lake place. She has not seen it yet.

So I’m on Highway 34, and she’s just gabbing, gabbing, gabbing, la la la la la. And this was a day that it was literally 5 degrees. Five degrees. Cold as cold as hell.

I’m heading to the lake from Auburn on Highway 34, and lo and behold, the state trooper passes me, then he hits his brakes and turns around.

So my little 83-year-old mom was like, “Oh my God, I’ve never been stopped by the police before.” She said, “Well, he doesn’t have the lights on, so just keep going.”

I’m like, “Mom, I know what to do here,” because I unfortunately have been stopped by the po-po before for having a little bit of a lead foot.

She said, “No, no, no, keep going. I’ve never been stopped by the police before. They’re not going to stop you.”

Then the blue lights go on. I’m like, “Mom, I’ve got to pull over.”

“Oh, this is so embarrassing.”

Meanwhile, there’s nobody on the road. It’s 5 degrees. Nobody is out. And she’s just freaking out.

So we pull over, and what’s funny is I have a billboard on Highway 34. We were right next to my billboard. It was so funny. The things that I find amusing.

Anyway, the trooper comes up, and I am in the most obnoxious jacket. It is a hot pink fur jacket with royal blue, and I have on pink pleather pants.

We were not dressed like we were going to the lake. I was just coming back from my daughter-in-law’s baby shower. I was dressed like a baby shower present, basically. That’s what I looked like.

He’s like, “What are you ladies doing?”

I said, “We’re going to StillWaters.”

He asked for my driver’s license and insurance.

I said, “Yes, sir, but I don’t have my insurance card with me.”

I’m telling y’all this right now — don’t go fast on Highway 34.

And my mom decides this is her moment. She says, “I’m 83 years old, sir, and I have never been pulled over before in my entire life.”

I’m like, “Mom, just sit there. Please just sit there.”

He says, “I’ll be right back,” and walks back to his car.

In the meantime, I call my husband, who was supposed to be right behind me. I’m like, “I need my insurance card. Can you text it to me?”

While I’m talking to him, he says a naughty word in front of my mom. He’s like, “What the—?”

And my mom goes, “Oh, Kurt’s got such a bad mouth.”

There was so much going on. I digress.

Then he says, “I’ve got another phone call. I’ll call you back.”

I’m like, “The trooper is right here. I need it.”

He hangs up on me to answer the other call.

The trooper comes back and says, “Well, Ms. Clowdy, I pulled up your records.”

I said, “My husband has my insurance.”

He said, “I see you’re with Travelers, and you seem to have a good driving record. I’m just going to give you a warning.”

I’m like, “Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.”

He starts laughing at us because we looked absolutely ridiculous.

He said, “From the police, from now on, pay attention to the speed limit.”

“Yes, sir. Yes, sir, Mr. Trooper, I sure will.”

I forget his name. I didn’t remember it.

This was on Highway 34, right where the curve is, near my billboard.

So there you go. Little old me. Oh my gosh.

The moral of the story is: do not speed on these back roads.

The speed limit is 45. I was going 62, which technically is not great.

And honestly, I didn’t think anybody was going to pull someone over because who wants to get out of their car when it’s 8 degrees?

But there are speed limits to be watched at the lake. It’s usually 45 on these county roads.

And I was going to tell you something else. Oh yes, this is important. People don’t know this.

There are roadblocks at Lake Martin.

There are roadblocks all the time during the summer months for drunk drivers.

So be very careful and aware of that. There is always a roadblock set up on Highway 72 coming out of Auburn toward the lake.

I’ve also experienced two roadblocks near Bama Park on Highway 50.

If people are coming from the Alexander City side of the lake or from Bama Park over to Chuck’s or somewhere like that, they will stop you.

They will get your driver’s license. I’m just telling you — be careful up here and abide by the speeding limits.

Don’t do what Amy did in this particular case.

On that note, I will let you guys go.

I am up here at Lake Martin, sitting in the lovely Kennebec, and I will tell you how the showing goes on my way home.

Peace out, and remember, home is the nicest place there is.